Sassy Actress, with a Side of Quirk

Life Musings by a Real Drama Queen

Here I Go Again

Welcome to New York!

Or welcome back I should say. I have returned from my contract and am back to the grind. I got back officially two weeks ago, but it took me some time to get back into the swing of things. I picked up some catering shifts, started the search for our new apartment, and planned the rest of April and the beginning of May. Lots of things going on, so auditioning has been put on the back burner; however, today is the day I break that streak and start anew!

I am currently waiting at the Equity building in Times Square for an audition. This audition is pretty relaxed since there aren’t many nonunion actors waiting, and since I am only right for one role in the whole season, it takes some of the inherent pressure off the audition. I thought it would be a perfect foil for me to get back into the swing of things.

I really ought to take a class or at least get a voice lesson soon, but I will be honest, I am not sure where to even begin. There are sooooo many classes out there and funds are limited so I really can’t take as many as I would like.  Any suggestions would be appreciated! I am also trying to be better about staying in contact with mentors and show biz people. It’s just hard when you don’t feel particularly connected to anybody. I mean, I have been seen by plenty of companies and casting directors, but I don’t feel particularly “known” yet, which is okay, since my career is still pretty young, but it is still very frustrating. I mean, how many postcards have I sent that haven’t even been glanced at by the recipients? Honestly, probably 95% of them. That doesn’t mean I will stop sending them, but I feel like I have to do something to create a more binding impression on these people. Again, I am not too humble for suggestions.

As negative as this might sound, I am actually pretty positive at the moment. My confidence has shot up since I did that contract in Michigan- I did some AWESOME work out there and made lasting friendships and connections. I feel really good about my performance as both an actor and a choreographer, which has made me that much more hungry for the next big thing. I am seriously itching for a new challenge. I need something that scares me, that really launches me into bigger and better things.

But for now, I am content with waiting for an EPA. Who knows, maybe I will be the person they have been waiting for. Maybe I am not. Either way I can go in, play with my monologue, and chalk it up as a learning experience. That’s all you really can do at this point. The best case scenario is always a callback and then a booked gig. The worst case scenario is that you make a weak choice or you make a mistake and you just call it a rehearsal for the next audition.

My boyfriend has recently started a career in stand-up comedy. He has been diligent about going to open mics, seeing and speaking with upcoming comedians, and just immersing himself in the culture that is stand up. Something I really admire about him is just his patience and commitment to the craft. He always tells me, whether it was a good mic or not, it was always a good mic in the end, because he got up there, tried, and learned something. I need to adapt that mentality to auditions. I think I already do, but I think I could be even more complimentary and proud of myself for just getting up and putting myself out there, day in and day out. It’s the same thing with Aidan’s stand-up career. Just going out and doing it is half the battle. I almost didn’t even go to this audition today because I woke up grumpy, I was unenthused by the lack of auditions lately, and just because I was scared to start up this cycle of rejection yet again. But you know what? I sucked it up. And I am here, waiting until they tell me that nonunion is sent home, because it’s my job and the payout is worth wading through all the shit in front of me.

Also, all my friends and colleagues from college are all doing really well right now, which is awesome. It is hard to praise and compliment them without comparing myself to them. But as they say, everyone’s path is different, so just do your own thing and don’t allow other people’s wins become your losses. Because they aren’t.

I am just full of wisdom today. The equity center does that to me. I get suddenly wise and introspective. It is very cathartic. And now I feel ready to squash this audition and make it my bitch!

More on life later friends. Keep it classy.

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